Q3: Are you a perfectionist?

When something is important to me, I generally strive for perfection in every aspect. It is deeply upsetting to step back and look at the product of your time, energy, and/or labor and to see imperfection. Especially when I can easily see where the final product could’ve been improved. Sometimes when you look at the product of your labor, you see frankly a sloppy job.Occasionally, we forget just how important something is to us and we get bogged down in the drudgery of routine. When we realize that we’ve contributed sloppy work toward something we care a great deal about, it is deeply upsetting. A few lighthearted examples and a deeper one:

• When I use any form of social media to post content, I always read it several times before posting it. I’m looking for grammatical errors, spelling errors, and readability. It is important that I communicate the proper idea through whatever it is that I’m posting. Even after posting, I will go back and look at it later, just to be certain that it’s correct. I try to place myself in a reader’s position and ask myself if what I’m reading makes sense and is interesting. Anytime I have to write an “about me” section of some profile, I always think about what I want to communicate, then write an outline. I often wonder how many people use a written outline to post content to social media outlets. You can rest assured that I’ve already read this post several times and will read it again in the future.

• Recently, my wife and I have taken up ballroom dancing as away to spend time together, get exercise, and to expand our enjoyment of life.Dancing is an excellent activity to get into if you’re a perfectionist. There is always something there to challenge you. You can always work on your form and technique. When dancing, it is important how I’m dressed, the form of my frame, my footwork, gracefulness, timing, etc.

• My strong responsibility of perfection is not only something extended to myself. Those around me are also held to high standards of perfection. The closer my relationship with someone, the greater the expectations of perfection are. For example, it is always important for me to "be there" for those I care about, even at great personal inconvenience. The joy that showing my love is much greater than the pain I may endure. Unfortunately, I subconsciously expect this behavior in return, and few people share my intensity in this area (I don't know that I've ever even met someone else like this). More than that, I deeply value loyalty and dependability. If you choose to call me friend, you have a friend for life. I don't believe that relationships are seasonal things, but are to be cherished and maintained for life. In recent times it's harder to find loyal people; it's becoming a rare character trait. These are areas where it’s difficult to accept shortcomings in others. It is easy for me to overlook the fact that we are all human and prone to failure. Someone said once, “everyone will let you down sometimes, it’s the condition of the human race. Some people will let you down all of the time.” My perfection in regards to personal relationships has helped me to be a stronger person. Because I am so easily hurt by the shortcomings of others, I have been hurt a lot. The frequency of disappointments has helped me to become more patient and understanding of others, and to expect them to fail at times.A downside is that I am easily exhausted emotionally when I feel a breach of trust in these areas. I think it hurts so bad because I strive so hard to never fail those I love. I know that as a human being, I will fail others without even trying. This instills in me a responsibility to mitigate the risk of letting others down. It hurts to see others for whom I've exerted so much effort fail me so apparently easily and willingly.